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Gone

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Post by AmyFawkes Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:54 pm

I need critiquing. Now. I hate this story, seriously.

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Gone
By Amanda Le

“Don’t go!” I cried. I clinged onto her so dearly. It was if she was a childhood friend.
I had only known this girl for a year and she was my best friend since we met. Her name was Alexandra.
“Do you have an e-mail? We could keep in contact!” I said. Alexandra smiled. “Yes, I do,” she said. We exchanged e-mails.
I was lucky this time. The very first time a close friend of mine moved away was when I was really young, about third grade. She literally had been a childhood friend; we were best friends the moment we laid eyes on each other on the first day of pre-school. Back then. I didn’t have an e-mail, so when my friend moved away, I could never contact her ever again. Of course I had other friends, but how would you feel if the one you feel closest and most comfortable with went away? It would be like losing somebody of your family. I had lost my very first best friend. It made me move on and make new friends, but you can never forget that first friend and how she changed your life.
But anyways, at least this time I can check up on my friends every now and then. I can contact them with the miracles of the internet.
Six o’ clock, time to go. I bid my last farewell to Alexandra as I left the class.
Same thing happened a year later. I met someone who had and supported my dreams. She I held dear also. Then she told me she had to go away. I could only cling onto her with my helpless soul, remembering that same moment with my first friend. I only hope none of my other friends go. I was foolish with my first friend; I hadn’t asked for an e-mail, nor even knew she was going and never said my final goodbye.
Love; a person or thing you hold dear. It could be a friend, a pet, and object. But whatever it may be, hold it close and never let go because you never know what you have ‘till it’s gone.
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Post by Iris Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:05 pm

AmyFawkes wrote:I hate this story, seriously.
Aw come on... it's really good! Smile

AmyFawkes wrote:Love; a person or thing you hold dear. It could be a friend, a pet, and object. But whatever it may be, hold it close and never let go because you never know what you have ‘till it’s gone.
OMG. Just make the 'till = until and you could have some quote spoken by some eloquent speaker person.
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Post by AmyFawkes Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:09 pm

That's it? Ook. XD

I find it extremely funny everybody loves that quote. =D
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Post by Iris Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:17 pm

It's a nice quote! Smile I'm bad at giving feedback, sorry. Smile
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Post by AmyFawkes Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:30 pm

It's fine. I think its good but i still don't like it. :l
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Post by Iris Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:31 pm

No one likes there own writing. It's OK.
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Post by AmyFawkes Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:26 pm

I like my other piece, hall of Memories, but this has got to be the worst thing ever. Everybody likes it except me. :l
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Post by Iris Mon Dec 22, 2008 1:56 am

Why don't you like it?
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Post by AmyFawkes Mon Dec 22, 2008 12:11 pm

I think it went to fast and little detail. But doesn't matter now since I already turned it in. :l
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Post by Iris Mon Dec 22, 2008 9:32 pm

Oh well. Very Happy
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Post by AmyFawkes Mon Dec 22, 2008 9:36 pm

It's still good anyways. xD
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Post by Iris Mon Dec 22, 2008 9:49 pm

YAH.
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Post by AmyFawkes Mon Dec 22, 2008 10:35 pm

I'mma lock this topic now. Isn't needed anymore.
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